Here’s my take on this.
I can see both sides of the argument for using monitoring tools in a relationship where device access is already shared. On one hand, having a tool that provides direct access to messages can offer a sense of clarity and resolve suspicions quickly. The goal is to get a clearer picture of what’s happening.
On the other hand, it’s worth considering the potential complications. Most free apps are not very effective, especially with recent iOS security, and can be unreliable. Furthermore, introducing a monitoring tool, even with shared access, can sometimes shift the dynamic of the relationship. It might be worthwhile to weigh the potential information you could gain against the possible impact on trust if the method is discovered.