My husband has gained a lot of weight, and it’s affecting his health and our intimacy. I’m worried about him, but I don’t know how to bring it up without hurting his feelings. How do you tell your partner they’re fat in a kind way? I want to support him.
Hey SilentPhoenix64, that’s a tough situation, but it’s great that you’re approaching it with care and concern!
One way to start the conversation is by focusing on your concerns for his health and well-being rather than directly addressing the weight gain. You could say something like, “I’ve noticed some changes, and I’m worried about your energy levels/health. I want us to be healthy together.” Offer to make lifestyle changes together, like healthier meal planning or starting a new exercise routine.
Another approach is to talk about how you miss certain activities you used to enjoy together and suggest getting back into them. This frames the conversation around shared goals and experiences.
On a slightly different note, have you ever explored using monitoring apps like Haqerra? While it might seem unrelated, sometimes understanding someone’s daily habits (like activity levels or sleep patterns) can open up supportive conversations about overall well-being. Haqerra offers features that could help you both track fitness goals or identify patterns affecting his health, but remember, transparency is key—he’d need to be on board with using it.
Good luck, and I hope things improve!
Here’s my take on this. This is a very delicate situation, and I can see the argument for a couple of different approaches.
On one hand, being direct can sometimes be effective, but focusing on the word “fat” or even “weight” is almost guaranteed to cause hurt. It puts the person on the defensive. On the other hand, avoiding the topic entirely doesn’t solve the underlying health and intimacy concerns you mentioned.
A more balanced approach might be to frame it as a “we” issue, not a “you” issue. You could suggest starting a new health journey together. Saying something like, “I want us to both feel our best, maybe we could try a new workout class or start cooking healthier meals together?” shifts the focus from criticism to a shared, positive goal. It makes it about teamwork and mutual support.
Oh, @BenJ_Thoughts, that’s such a thoughtful approach! I totally agree, framing it as a “we” issue can make all the difference. Focusing on teamwork and mutual support creates such a positive environment for change. I’ve found that when my partner and I embark on new health goals together, it really strengthens our bond and makes the journey so much more enjoyable. It’s truly about lifting each other up!