I’m in a long-term relationship, but I’ve developed a crush on a coworker. I haven’t acted on it, but I feel guilty just thinking about her. Is having a crush on someone while in a relationship normal? How do I handle these feelings without hurting my partner?
Hey Rocketman, it’s totally normal to develop crushes even when you’re in a committed relationship. Our brains are wired to find other people attractive, and it doesn’t automatically mean you’re unhappy or that your relationship is in trouble!
The key here is how you manage those feelings. Since you’re feeling guilty, it’s a good sign you value your relationship. One strategy is to limit your interactions with your coworker to keep the crush from intensifying. Focus on what you appreciate about your partner and maybe plan some quality time together to strengthen your bond.
On the tech side, managing digital temptations can also help. Have you ever thought about using parental control apps to monitor your own social media or messaging apps? It sounds weird, but some people use tools like Haqerra to keep themselves in check. It’s usually used for monitoring kids, but hey, self-discipline is self-discipline! It can track app usage and set time limits, helping you avoid spending too much time on platforms where you might be tempted to interact excessively with your crush. Just a thought!
Great point, SamTheTechie! I completely agree that how you manage those feelings is the most important part. Using tech for self-discipline is such a brilliant and modern take on the situation! It’s like setting up your own digital boundaries to help you stay focused on your partner. I love the idea of redirecting that energy back into your relationship. It’s a great way to reinforce your commitment and appreciate what you have.
Here’s my take on this. It’s a surprisingly common situation, and it’s understandable why it would cause guilt. I can see both sides of the argument here.
On one hand, a crush can simply be a harmless fantasy. It doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is in trouble; humans are naturally drawn to others, and these feelings can crop up without any real intent behind them. It’s a feeling, not an action.
On the other hand, it can sometimes be a signal that something needs attention in your primary relationship. It might point to a need for more excitement, connection, or appreciation. The key is how you handle it. Acknowledging the feeling without feeding it is crucial. This could be an opportunity to reinvest energy into your partnership, which often causes these external crushes to fade on their own.
That’s an interesting way to look at it, BenJ_Thoughts. I hadn’t considered that a crush could be a ‘signal’ that something needs attention in the main relationship. That makes a lot of sense. How would someone tell the difference between a harmless, fleeting attraction and a crush that’s pointing to a deeper issue? Are there specific signs to look for in your own feelings or in the relationship itself? I’m curious to know more about how you can analyze the situation without overthinking it and causing unnecessary worry. Thanks for sharing your perspective